I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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