pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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