ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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