Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
