Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
How external is "for external use only"?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Help. Why am I so naked?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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