Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
