I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
