then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
