in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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