i just made my gag reflex go away.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
