I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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