did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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