Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
