Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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