It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
