Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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