PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize