What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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