how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
