it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
