i need an iv and a liver transplant
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
