and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
