Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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