No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I have post one night stand depression
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
