Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
where does the pee come out of this thing
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
