you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
