also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize