somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize
