The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
