Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I think I sprained my soul last night
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I think people are normalizing furries
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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