what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
She even gives head with a lisp.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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