PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
