So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
