I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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