She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
