Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Randomize
