I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
