"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
