i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
