chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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