remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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