Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
is that a dick in a sweater?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
