I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
someone owes me an orgasm
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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