Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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