She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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