I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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