I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize