i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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