If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
