Me too!
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I should be sponsored by Trojan
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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