im about as happy as oj after his trial
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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