I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
