Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
