I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
