Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize