yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
