I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize