I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
