absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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